The other day in casual conversation with a woman I work for, I commiserated that she must be very busy. After all, she works a more-than full-time job and has a young child, so she spends her weekends at the baseball field or carting him to other activities. That’s in between grocery shopping, trying to spend some time with her husband, and all of the other responsibilities of – well – life. Her reaction was unexpected: “I’m tired of this notion of being busy,” she mused. “We’re all busy. But that’s no excuse to stop connecting with the people around us.”Well said.
“Busy” has replaced “Fine” as the response du jour when asked the equally generic, “How are you?” Yep, we’re all incredibly busy.
Maybe it’s time to get over ourselves.
These days, it’s a mark of success to be that busy person – always working, moving, meeting. Our days are filled with tasks, but our connections are often shallow and fleeting at best. Stopping to smell the proverbial roses just isn’t on the agenda.
One of the most talented and gifted professionals I know – and often one of the busiest – is my husband, Dennis. (Yes, I realize I’m a little biased here, but after 30-some years together I’m allowed, right?) I’ve seen how he runs a corporate team, and I’ve watched his interactions. He’s mentored many, many younger employees – and even a few older ones – always demanding they give their best, crediting them for the work they do, and finding the time to help them become leaders in their own right. His work with other executives is just as revealing. He takes the time to know their quirks, their families, their sports teams. It’s not superficial; he honestly wants to know. And the connections he fosters continue long after the working relationships end.
Interning at a small-town newspaper – I was just a sophomore in college – I was a little awed by my editors. I watched them debate daily ethical dilemmas while standing up to town bullies who loved to tell them what they should print (or more often what they shouldn’t). These editors – my bosses – were in the office early and stayed late, making sure the articles they published were accurate and crisp. Their professional lives were incredibly hectic. In short, they were busy with a capital B.
And for some reason they talked to me – about meaningful issues facing our profession, about those ethical dilemmas, about when to cross the t’s and dot the i’s, and about when the “rules” could be broken. And while they didn’t give me this precious gift – their time – on deadline, they did connect with me often, and pushed me on the road toward success in my chosen profession.
The ethics and journalistic values they instilled have stuck with me for the 30-plus years since.
Too bad that other lesson – the gift of time – sometimes was forgotten as I navigated my own “busy” road. Working full-time, raising kids, volunteering … At days’ end, I just didn’t always have the energy to make the connections I should have. I greatly regret that.
Am I busy these days? Well, duh! I run a successful business, have three kids (yes, they’re technically adults, but still …), try to be a good wife, and still find the time to occasionally stop for those aforementioned roses – whether that means exercising, socializing or lounging in the sun with a book. My soccer mom days are past, and I’m grateful for the occasionally unscheduled Saturday afternoon.
And as for my “busy” work week? Well, I’m taking “busyness” out of my vocabulary and connecting more. Hope you do, too!
“Busy” has replaced “Fine” as the response du jour when asked the equally generic, “How are you?” Yep, we’re all incredibly busy.
Maybe it’s time to get over ourselves.
These days, it’s a mark of success to be that busy person – always working, moving, meeting. Our days are filled with tasks, but our connections are often shallow and fleeting at best. Stopping to smell the proverbial roses just isn’t on the agenda.
One of the most talented and gifted professionals I know – and often one of the busiest – is my husband, Dennis. (Yes, I realize I’m a little biased here, but after 30-some years together I’m allowed, right?) I’ve seen how he runs a corporate team, and I’ve watched his interactions. He’s mentored many, many younger employees – and even a few older ones – always demanding they give their best, crediting them for the work they do, and finding the time to help them become leaders in their own right. His work with other executives is just as revealing. He takes the time to know their quirks, their families, their sports teams. It’s not superficial; he honestly wants to know. And the connections he fosters continue long after the working relationships end.
Interning at a small-town newspaper – I was just a sophomore in college – I was a little awed by my editors. I watched them debate daily ethical dilemmas while standing up to town bullies who loved to tell them what they should print (or more often what they shouldn’t). These editors – my bosses – were in the office early and stayed late, making sure the articles they published were accurate and crisp. Their professional lives were incredibly hectic. In short, they were busy with a capital B.
And for some reason they talked to me – about meaningful issues facing our profession, about those ethical dilemmas, about when to cross the t’s and dot the i’s, and about when the “rules” could be broken. And while they didn’t give me this precious gift – their time – on deadline, they did connect with me often, and pushed me on the road toward success in my chosen profession.
The ethics and journalistic values they instilled have stuck with me for the 30-plus years since.
Too bad that other lesson – the gift of time – sometimes was forgotten as I navigated my own “busy” road. Working full-time, raising kids, volunteering … At days’ end, I just didn’t always have the energy to make the connections I should have. I greatly regret that.
Am I busy these days? Well, duh! I run a successful business, have three kids (yes, they’re technically adults, but still …), try to be a good wife, and still find the time to occasionally stop for those aforementioned roses – whether that means exercising, socializing or lounging in the sun with a book. My soccer mom days are past, and I’m grateful for the occasionally unscheduled Saturday afternoon.
And as for my “busy” work week? Well, I’m taking “busyness” out of my vocabulary and connecting more. Hope you do, too!
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